I’m taking a trip with my toddler, and my husband won’t be joining us. His ex-wife is furious that I’m not bringing my stepson. (Need Couple therapy?)
My toddler and I are heading to Disney with my side of the family—my mom, sisters, and their little ones. My stepson, who is significantly older, is leaving for a vacation with his mom tomorrow.
He’s in school and has already been on multiple trips this year, including another Disney visit. If he came with me, he’d miss an entire week of school. Meanwhile, my daughter has never been to Disney.
Since my husband isn’t coming, I’ll be solely responsible for parenting. My toddler is already a handful, and I really want to enjoy quality time with my mom and sisters—something that will be possible since all the young kids go to bed early.
I explained this to my husband’s ex and was honest about the challenges of managing two kids alone. She didn’t care. She even admitted that her son doesn’t listen to or behave for me, yet still insisted I was in the wrong. Again, this would mean me solo parenting both a toddler and an older child—who doesn’t respect my authority—for an entire week.
I adore my stepson, but he hasn’t always been kind, and he completely disregards me when my husband isn’t around. It’s been a struggle for years.
I didn’t tell him about the trip because I didn’t want unnecessary drama. I realize now that might not have been the best approach, but I knew no matter what, it would turn into an argument. I just didn’t expect to be vilified by my husband’s ex.
This isn’t a family vacation—it’s a trip with my daughter and my side of the family. I would never exclude my stepson from a real family trip, but this is different.
The age gap would make things difficult, as it’s a group of little kids and one much older child with different interests. Plus, I’d have zero downtime.
I feel like I shouldn’t even have to justify this, but my husband’s ex has blown it out of proportion—despite the fact that her son has taken more vacations in one year than my daughter has in her entire life.
So, am I truly in the wrong? Because right now, I’m being made to feel like a horrible person.
Need couple therapy?
It sounds like you’re dealing with a really tough and emotionally draining situation, but whether you need couples therapy depends on how your husband is handling all of this.
Is he supporting you? If he understands your perspective and backs you up when dealing with his ex and his son, then therapy might not be necessary.
Is he neutral or avoiding conflict? If he’s stepping back and letting you take all the heat, that could cause resentment, and couples therapy might help you both navigate boundaries and expectations.
Is he siding with his ex? If he’s making you feel guilty or invalidating your concerns, therapy could definitely help get you both on the same page.
If you feel like you’re constantly battling this situation alone or that it’s putting strain on your relationship, Relationship therapy could be a great way to strengthen communication and make sure you and your husband are truly a team. Do you feel like he’s been supportive through all of this?
You should find marriage counseling near you by searching on google. For example you can write as: “‘marriage counseling near me'” or you can do as “‘relationship counseling near me'”.
You can also find many good online couples therapy specialists out there. Who will definitely give you BetterHelp.
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